that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
