i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
