I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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