I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My cat gives me a boner
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize