I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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