After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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