i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
