I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
