i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
