I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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