I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
