just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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