He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
