I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
