She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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