I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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