im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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