I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize