just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She bit a glass in half.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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