Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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