He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
