my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
