Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
