I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm too high and old for this...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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