you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
They are going to name an STD after you.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
