The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
