: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
