She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize