just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
