then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
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Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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