Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
