White coat. Heels.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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