is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa