You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?