Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms

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  (443): the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms http://tfl.nu/2y09
  Replies (22) Good night (4635) Bad night (1037)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.

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  (317): I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure. http://tfl.nu/rujq
  Replies (23) Good night (737) Bad night (4290)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out

  (574): View more from Indiana

  You never cease to amaze me.

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  (614): Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out (574): You never cease to amaze me. http://tfl.nu/7cst
  Replies (18) Good night (5291) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning

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  (937): I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning http://tfl.nu/bu5f
  Replies (22) Good night (1189) Bad night (5819)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.

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  (517): the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy. http://tfl.nu/ah1s
  Replies (36) Good night (903) Bad night (4641)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...

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  (781): Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa... http://tfl.nu/bbhr
  Replies (18) Good night (4976) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..

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  (760): You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching.. http://tfl.nu/8ueu
  Replies (11) Good night (1018) Bad night (4185)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  Oh God. You're going to jail

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  (352): The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals. (1-352): Oh God. You're going to jail http://tfl.nu/m7qu
  Replies (30) Good night (6076) Bad night (1579)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.

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  (660): It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope. http://tfl.nu/g3x7
  Replies (7) Good night (1185) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.

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  (715): Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out. http://tfl.nu/yvz7
  Replies (13) Good night (2716) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.

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  (386): Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line. http://tfl.nu/hznj
  Replies (10) Good night (784) Bad night (1593)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all

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  (412): I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all http://tfl.nu/skme
  Replies (6) Good night (789) Bad night (1615)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance

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  (937): Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance http://tfl.nu/14uy
  Replies (2) Good night (1161) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.

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  (978): If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win. (508): And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them. http://tfl.nu/dotb
  Replies (5) Good night (508) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Naked. naked and bneed help.

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  (510): Naked. naked and bneed help. http://tfl.nu/5da4
  Replies (1) Good night (221) Bad night (309)

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