I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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