Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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