its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital