clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
