just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You can't just leave with hair like that
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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