I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
