She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
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