im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
