Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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