I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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