I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize