What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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