i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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