I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
