Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
