I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?