How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom