and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
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Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.