i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
