bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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