So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize