he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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