Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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