It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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