Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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