why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I got inside last night via doggy door
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
