We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
