I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
