If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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