Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
