Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
