You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
