I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
cat food counts as protein by the way
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
