i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize