I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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