I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
