How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
