im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
