Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
whose parrot is this?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
