I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
