So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
