U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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