just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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